Sunday, July 31, 2011

Something I will never give up on

Why, hello there.
I had a rough afternoon today because I made a decision whether to quit badminton and focus on my studies (and life!) or to continue playing. It may may not sound like a really hard decision if you weren't me, but since I'm trapped in my own body, yes, it was really hard to make.

I though of all the things I've given up on when I started playing badminton. I loved badminton so much, that I stopped my ballet, I stopped scrapbooking, making bracelets, my voice lessons (oh crap, why did I even mention this to you), my bead art, painting, drawing, swimming, tae kwon do (I hated it, anyway. Hahaha!) and probably a lot more things I couldn't remember. My range of interest started becoming more and more narrow. I've even got my first line-of-eight grade when I was in 6th grade, which obviously didn't please my parents. Trust me, I was almost forced to stop playing that time.

I thought about it really well this afternoon, about all the things and talents I lost just because I was too focused on badminton. My life started revolving around it. I cried for at least 30 minutes at least, thinking that if I'd give up on badminton, I'd have nothing left of me. I know I'm belittling myself, but it's how I feel.

And so, I had come to a decision to continue playing. I just had to play. Two months of not playing is suicide. In fact, a part of me has already died inside. Then, I stood up, changed into sportswear, and put my hair up. I rode a cab (please keep this from Mom, thanks), not caring how much I'd spend for fare, and went to Kalayaan Badminton Center to meet my CSSP teammates.

I am the Carina Morente. Nyahahaha!

It all makes sense now, our batch motto I mean - Stand firm in the faith.

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