Friday, January 2, 2009

Start out right

Every time something bad happens, I get this weird feeling. Whenever I exhale, my lungs start to tickle.

The reason why I'm talking about this is that something bad... REALLY BAD... happened to me this morning. If I didn't wake up anymore, everything would've been better.
Actually, when I woke up, everything was fine. I was happy. The sun was shining. I even ate Libby's Vienna Sausage *drools* for breakfast. I was laughing. And smiling for no reason. And laughing. The day started with my normal routine. After doing everything, I turned my best friend on. THE LAPTOP. I checked my friendster and multiply. And Y!M. And I uploaded the pictures and I kept laughing while looking at the pictures. Then......

*THUNDER* I read this blog. :|
It made my heart beat really fast. Really, really fast. As if there will be a badminton tournament tomorrow.
I was holding my tears in.
My fingers started to shiver.
I wasn't able to hold it much longer so I copy-pasted a part of it and IM-ed it to the one who wrote it. My lungs started to tickle again. My chest was really painful already and I even thought I was having a heart attack. I felt my world rip down to shreds. And so, obviously, the tears crawled their way out. She said sorry a lot of times. A LOT of times.

FACT: Whenever people say sorry to me, I feel like crying some more. The word "sorry" frightens me. A LOT. If I look at my past years, I never really said sorry to anyone. I mean, of course I did. But I really found it hard to say "I'm sorry". I just let those moments pass away without saying anything. And this year, I mean.. last year, I found out I was wrong.
Another fact: I can`t stand it when a friend of mine is mad at me, or I`m mad at one friend. To be honest, I`ve said sorry to a lot of people. Even if i didn't do anything wrong. Even if it wasn't my fault. Second year taught me how easy it is to say sorry. Or maybe... I say this too much because of my fear of losing people I love.

My dear friend, I forgive you. You`re right. It was written ages ago, but the date didn't catch my attention when I was reading that. Expect me not to get over it instantly. It still hurts. But I will get over it; that`s for sure. Well, it's a new year and a new life. Let's forget about this and start the year right. I love you, my drool braderr!

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