Part One

Hi. Tonight I decided to write again, because I don't even know when the last time I wrote anything for fun was. I miss writing. It helps me organize my thoughts. I couldn't guarantee I'd be blogging again for good, but tonight I felt a necessity to blog about how much I've changed and grew as a person in a span of a few months. Vain as that might sound, I don't really care. I'm not exactly proud of this girl I've become - I think happy is a better word for it.

I'm not exactly sure when this all began, but I'd like to think it all started when I was trying to get over a crush (HAHAHA oh my gosh Cai what is wrong with you sige publicize mo pa hahaha). When I went home after taking Physics the second time around last summer, I knew I had to keep my mind off things. Or that person. LOLJK. That was when I started doing calligraphy and making stationeries and whatnot. It helped me a lot.

Anyway, I also discovered my love for everything snail mail. Postcards, letters, stamps, happy mail, postcrossing. Because I was earning from The Write Type, I splurged on philatelic stamps. I stopped shopping for clothes. I KNOW. I used to shop for clothes all the damn time (ask my friends, ask my mom). Every time I had spare money or savings, I'd always spend it on clothes. I used to love dressing up. I always wanted to look my best even on normal days. Especially on normal days. I remember when I still had an ask.fm account, there'd by questions like "who do you think dresses nicely in arki?" and I'd see my name being mentioned more than once. When I started splurging on paper, stamps, pens, and other things, I found out that there is so much more to life than clothes (HAHA exagge! Malamang!). I started spending most of my money on trips to Iloilo, looking for paper and other stationery items at Calle Real. I spent my money on new pens. New notebooks. Postcards. Envelopes. Printer ink...because what do I get from buying clothes? A nice look? Sure. It's great to look nice all the time, but it takes me so much effort and money. Your personality matters more than your clothes. What you say, how you think, what you do, and who you are gains you friends. Not your clothes. Not that I ever did dress up to impress people (god, no), but like I said, I just dropped it because there was so much more beyond shopping and all that stuff. Now, I always wear the same things. I've been mixing and matching my clothes since the start of summer. And by mix and match, I mean wear whatever I could grab from my closet. All my tops are the same anyway - black of different cuts, or different-colored tank tops. They all match my printed shorts anyway. I don't really give a shit. It's like I wear a uniform to school. I've probably repeated every outfit at least ten times already. I'm currently cringing at how I used to care so much about what I wore. I don't know. Either that or I'm cringing because wala na talaga akong pake. LOOOL.

ENFP problems. The struggle is real. I think I started this post three days ago. Not sure if lazy or ADHD.

Tangina. I don't even remember half of what I wrote, HAHA I'm so sabog right now. I'm at the beach! Maybe I should just write a better post. When I have my shit together.